Finding My Rudder

We took a family vacation last week and went to Yellowstone and Montana and spent two days in Idaho at Uprising, primarily to fight with, and hang out with, Duke Sean and Count Ralf.   Fighting and talking with Sean and Ralf helped put my head into a better place and I no longer feel so rudderless.  Both of them gave me stuff to work on – the drop thrust from high guard, the thrust on the inside line, a new drill from Sean – the 30 second kill drill,  relaxing the snap, flowing better, and getting rid of the lean on the offside leg, and owning that I’m a killer.  But the real value was just how much fun we had fighting with them and hanging out and just being at Uprising.  Even my kid had fun. 

Sean also listened to me whine a bunch about why my head has been in such a weird place, and gave me good advice on how to get out of the “no joy” hole I have been in – so that will be a major focus for the next couple of months.    He said a lot of things that Vik had said to me at Crown during squires tourney – I can only control me; be the killer that I am; don’t worry about other people, continue to emulate in deed those that I find heroic – i.e. Sven, Octa, Attaias, Vik, Sean, etc . . . , and keep working with my teachers, but let myself find my own style and own that.  I need to care less about whether I think my opponent is enjoying the fight – I am supposed to bring the fight that makes my opponent uncomfortable – if I am having fun, my opponent will be too.  I don’t need to not hook just because I know my opponent prefers an elegant fight, or not use my thrusty when I know my opponent does not like the thrust.

I also got a bunch of unsolicited feedback from a bunch of the people I was fighting that my power is really good, so working on that has paid off.  I need to continue to work it so that the power is top notch 100% of the time and not the 75% that it seems to be right now. 

Anyway, the trip was awesome and has given me focus for my training.  76 days until September Crown and I am gonna make each day count.  Be the killer.