So, sport of kings was a little weird for me this year -- we had the kid with us, so I knew i was going to have to balance parenting with fighting, i got my period the first day and felt like crap, it was hugelt humid on friday which enhanced the feeling crappy, both teachers that I had signed up for classes with had to cancel, and honestly I just was not feeling like i fit in. My fighting was ass on friday, i could not find my feet and my movement was non-existant. I helped Villius teach sean's recovery class, which was good, but I felt odd. All my classes I was supposed to take on friday were cancelled, so I could not feed on energy from those either.
I wanted to monopolize time with Octa, and Sven and Brand, but felt like my fighting was such shit, that I would be wasting their time. The torchlight tourney was out because I cannot see at night, so I was left feeling very very unfulfilled and lost and like a fighter/poser.
Saturday we woke up and contemplated going home. For reals. Still feeling crappy and really a little menstrual induced depression probably. Went to my class on the mental game and came out of it a bit disappointed really. Its not that the teacher did not have anything to say, he just did not know how to say it I think, and he certainly did not know how to tell us to go practice what he was trying to tell us was important. So, that was a bummer. But then I heard the pickup fighting going on, and it called to me.
I came to fight, so I put on my armor, did warmup drills with Villius, had an awesome set with Octa and then another awesome set with Sven, and then I felt like a killer and went out and fought a ton of pickups with a bunch of people. I need to cultivate that fun, free-spirited, killer feeling on my own, I cannot continue to rely on fighting Octa or Sven to bring that out in me. This will proabbly be my focus in practice for the foreseeabvle future.
Got out of armor before the tourney because I wanted to end having fun and because I promised the kid I would take her into town for dinner and it was already 4 oclock.
Decided to enter Crown -- Crown this time will be all about finding thje killer mindset and bringing my own energy tot he fight and having fun no matter what.