Sunday, April 5, 2015
It was much smaller than the last one, but the sun was out, it was not too hot, it was relaxed and I got fight, so a pretty good day all around. I worked on capitalizing on pauses in my controlled aggression and throwing the wrap with my hand in front of me. I had some good snaps, some good slots, some good thrusts, and a couple of good leg wraps. I missed having some really high level fighters there to push me, but Rodrekr handed me my ass a bunch so that was good. Rodrekr also told me that he really likes fighting me because I fight hard and aggressive but without ego. Fighting without ego is something I have been focused on for awhile and it is great that my opponent can feel that. It makes me feel like I am on my way to really living the only person I can control is me mantra and not chasing it. If that makes any sense. All around a good day, I just wish there had been some more top level fighters there.
Friday, April 3, 2015
I think too much. I care too much about whether other people are having fun or learning or whatever. I put other people first, even when putting myself first would get me closer to my goals. I need to stop. My window for meeting my goals is closing -- my body is not going to support fighting 2 to 3 times a week forever. Reaching my goals and realizing my dreams is important to me. I need to start acting that way. I have nobody to blame but myself when I don't use my voice and make my needs important. I need to tell the people who want to support me what I need and then I need to let them do it. I am worthy of people's time and instruction and I need to ask for it and then make sure I get it. No more putting myself last. Lesson learned.