Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Criticism and Judgment

It seems like I cannot escape people telling me how to do things better or finding fault in the way I teach or communicate (I am not talking technique feedback by the way, I wholeheartedly welcome all of that). On the one hand, it is a good thing because it means I am approachable and a certain amount of criticism and feedback is worthwhile as it aids in giving me direction in which to evolve. On the other hand, it can feel overwhelming. Even when I am trying hard to do my best, I am giving of myself to others both in time and information, I am cognizant not just of what is going on in the fight, but how the fight may be perceived; there is still fault, judgment, criticism, and accusation. I am not perfect; I will never be perfect. I do my best. I strive always to encourage, to raise others up and not put them down, to be impeccable in my behavior and judgment on the field, to respect my opponent and the fight in general, to bring honor to my consort and my mentors and on the whole, I feel pretty good about the job I am doing. But then someone tells me their perception and it makes me question everything. It makes me wonder if striving for my goal is worth it; whether my self-assessment is not sound, whether some of this "feedback" is really mental machinations or mind games from people I am competing with. Even going there sucks. I was raised to be honest, to do my best, to encourage and lead by example and not to tear others down to lift myself up. But today I am tired. Today I feel like the standard I am being held to is unfair. Today fighting is not fun.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Basic Sword and Shield Stuff

Going to start transcribing some of my fighting notes from my big notebook of doom. Starting with the sword and shield section. Basic sword and shield -- your arm is not swinging a sword; you are using body movement to swing the sword (Lucan) -- you balance should be shoulders over thighs over feet (Lucan) -- a right leg lead gives a right handed fighter better range; off side (Lucan) -- your back foot drives your movement (Lucan) -- balance is most important, stops you from telegraphing (Lucan) Slots (Thorin)3 types -- Step to opponents sword side (across center line) to open up target and then hand follows curve of shield and at last moment, grip with lower fingers and project tip into nipple area (body slot) -- the basket hilt follows the face of the shield, tip projects over top edge; footwork: sword foot forward, shield foot behind, keep shield in front, sword foot back (face slot - heater) -- can also cut across the face of the shield and take a step in and project your tip into your opponent's head (face slot round top shield) -- to defeat the slots -- follow your sword hand with whole body, not just your shield -- block with your feet and stay in original alignment Shield work is all about position - make your blocks look easy and you can break your opponent's confidence (Brannos) Your movement should be all about where you want to go for range. You want to be in the range that is best for you. Your ideal range is determined by the sweet spot of your stick -- where can you access the best targets with the sweet spot of your stick? physically closing range is easy - just step in. Psychologically closing range is much harder -- when you step in, you need to be prepared to fight. me = kill use footwork to deliberately manipulate the range you want to be in and not get into a range you are not ready to be in or do not want to be in. true range is where your (or your opponent's) feet are -- not where their shield is. shifting to sword leg forward puts you 4 inches closer into range with no movement. use footwork to deliberately manipulate the reange you want to be in and not get into a range you are not ready to be in y

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Inlands practice

It was much smaller than the last one, but the sun was out, it was not too hot, it was relaxed and I got fight, so a pretty good day all around. I worked on capitalizing on pauses in my controlled aggression and throwing the wrap with my hand in front of me. I had some good snaps, some good slots, some good thrusts, and a couple of good leg wraps. I missed having some really high level fighters there to push me, but Rodrekr handed me my ass a bunch so that was good. Rodrekr also told me that he really likes fighting me because I fight hard and aggressive but without ego. Fighting without ego is something I have been focused on for awhile and it is great that my opponent can feel that. It makes me feel like I am on my way to really living the only person I can control is me mantra and not chasing it. If that makes any sense. All around a good day, I just wish there had been some more top level fighters there.

Friday, April 3, 2015

I am my own worst enemy

I think too much. I care too much about whether other people are having fun or learning or whatever. I put other people first, even when putting myself first would get me closer to my goals. I need to stop. My window for meeting my goals is closing -- my body is not going to support fighting 2 to 3 times a week forever. Reaching my goals and realizing my dreams is important to me. I need to start acting that way. I have nobody to blame but myself when I don't use my voice and make my needs important. I need to tell the people who want to support me what I need and then I need to let them do it. I am worthy of people's time and instruction and I need to ask for it and then make sure I get it. No more putting myself last. Lesson learned.